Subject: Travel agent humor
Hi all,

Knowing how much I like to travel, a friend sent this list of travel agent stories. Don't know if they are true, but a few made me laugh out loud! I bet they are true though. I used to work at Club Med, and people would ask the weirdest questions, like what time does the 10 o'clock swim lesson start and did you drive here from Los Angeles? (we were in the Dominican Republic!)

Anyway, it's a little off topic but I thought it was close enough!

Why Americans should never be allowed to travel # the following are actual stories provided by travel agents.

I had someone ask for aisle seats so that her hair wouldnıt get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info she asked, ³Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?²

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with ³Iım not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.² Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, ³Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa.² Her response # click!

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, ³Donıt lie to me! I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.²

I got a call from a man who asked, ³Is it possible to see England from Canada?² I said, ³No.² He said ³But they look so close on the map.²

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ³I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.²

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 am and got into Chicago at 8:33 am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, ³Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?² I said, ³No, why do you ask?² She replied, ³Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and Iım overweight, is there any connection?² After putting her on hold for a minute while I ³looked into it² (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked ³How do I know which plane to get on?² I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, ³I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.²

A woman called and said, ³I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes.² I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, ³Yeah, whatever.²

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. ³Oh no I donıt, Iıve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.² I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, ³Look, Iıve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.²

A woman called to make reservations ³I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York.² The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, ³Are you sure thatıs the name of the town?² ³Yes, what flights do you have?² replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, ³Iım sorry, maıam, Iıve looked up every airport code in the country and I canıt find a Hippopotamus anywhere.² The customer retorted, ³Oh donıt be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!² The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ³You donıt mean Buffalo, do you?² ³Thatıs it! I knew it was a big animal!²

Have a good weekend,

Natalie Los Angeles