Subject: Travel Questions
Questions that often come to mind during travel, but rarely voiced:

1. Do you really think I want to be entertained by your child in flight? 2. Who told you that mixed plaid shirts and shorts with dark short socks and white sneakers were in this year? 3. Why do you take the middle seat if you have a weak bladder? 4. Why would you do that here when you wouldn't do it in your own home? 5. What makes you think that I know where I'm going? 6. Do you really think that I want to hear only one half of your cellphone conversation in this restaurant? 7. Why wouldn't you tip the chambermaid? 8. Did your parents forget to teach you please and thank you? 9. Why did they bother to put turn signals on your vehicle? 10. Did I say something that compelled you to place your bag on my neatly folded blazer in the overhead compartment? 11. Does your car go any faster? 12. Why are you tailgating me? 13. Did you really need all the hot water? 14. How does Barney manage to annoy me in so many languages? 15. Why can't you find your passport? 16. How many pockets does it take to reach ecstasy? (Men only). 17. What makes you think I know what pocket the tickets are in? 18. Now in which pocket is that *&$# camera? (Ooops, this is often voiced). 19. Where did I leave the duct tape? 20. Which side of the bed did you get up on this morning, Officer? 21. Just when did your hotel get the three stars? 22. Does Rick Steves have only one shirt and one pair of pants? 23. Why would you go to MacDonalds in Madrid? 24. Why don't you ski across my other ski? 25. Do I look like a terrorist? 26. Did my baggage travel on another plane? 27. Do you really think I am interested in the fact that we are passing over Baltimore? 28. Does mechanical difficulties mean we can't find the pilot? 29. Did you really expect airline food to reach gourmet status? 30. How did you find me?

Cheers! Tom